#side note why did both of them passive aggressively insult me when implying i had autism

[sarnai4]

Deleted Scene??

This is something I noticed and am very curious if anyone else has too. Spoiler alert for RTTE. Is it just me or did both Grimborn brothers just randomly start hating Dagur? I think the first interaction between Dagur and Ryker was in "Night of the Hunters'" after the Riders tried to escape and it failed. Dagur makes a suggestion to kill one via throwing them off the side, Heather counters that to say they should spare them for Viggo, and Ryker just immediately implies that Dagur's an idiot. It's almost funny how unnecessary this was. It's also amusing to me how Ryker OF ALL PEOPLE would say, "Know who got the brains in your family." Excuse me, good sir, but you are not one to talk when you're taking orders from your baby brother, THE Viggo Grimborn. Hypocrisy aside, what Dagur said wasn't even foolish and would have actually been a smart move if they wanted to discourage the others. The Berkians would have been absolutely devastated if one of them had died that day. Instead, Ryker goes with Heather's plan, insults Dagur, and hits him on the back.

Just about every scene with them is like this. Heather even defends Dagur when Ryker complains in a later episode after seeing that not all the Riders left the Edge like Dagur wanted them to. In the same one, Ryker and Dagur find out that there were deserters. Dagur asks who and is upset when he learns that a Grimborn cousin turned traitor. Makes sense. He hates traitors and is a family-oriented person. This would shock him and he's always been an outspoken guy. When Ryker starts growling at him, he backs off and decides to suggest a new plan to make up for the losses. End of the tension, yes? The thing that was upsetting Ryker has stopped and now he can be calm again? Nope. He starts choking Dagur. Again, it nearly makes me laugh because it really comes out of nowhere. Why is he even mad at this point? Was Ryker that offended about Dagur talking about his turncoat cousin that even when he stopped, he still needed to be choked out?

This isn't even the last thing he does! In "Maces and Talons Part 2," Ryker threatens Dagur in case he thinks about hurting Viggo. I find this very amusing since this is the same man who had recommended killing Heather and is part of the idea to have Dagur imprison his own sister. But family means sooo much...when that family is Ryker's.

Viggo has way less scenes with Dagur, but they still manage to all be very passive aggressive. In his first line directed to Dagur alone, he practically calls him an imbecile, wondering if there are "any brains under all those scars and tattoos." Note to self: don't play a game with Viggo because you'll get your feelings hurt. Since we came in on the end, maybe Dagur really was just taking that long, but I also feel like his level of patience wouldn't have let him stand there for minutes on end without doing anything besides figuring out his next play. Since we've also seen Viggo insult Ryker's intelligence, I think this one is just because that's who he is and he will never respect someone he thinks is more of a physical threat. He's now making me think of that "mean nerd" trope in some stories where they try to bully the jocks by making them feel less than in other ways.

Viggo does take this a little further and have his first snappy scene too. This, of course, is directed at Dagur because why wouldn't it be? Not to sound like a broken record, but this doesn't feel necessary either. Yes, Dagur was being snarky, but Viggo also asked a pretty obvious question. Dagur would obviously know that the dragons were free if they're flying right above them. He just wanted to contribute to the plan since he is a chief in his own right. Not wanting to listen is one thing and I could understand Viggo not wanting to use someone else's ideas, but to say in a matter of words, "Fool, you exist to follow orders. Don't think. I'll do that for you," is a little bit of an overreaction.

The dramatic irony of this is how their hatred was warranted, but they didn't know it. Dagur really never was on their side and was planning to kill them, so unless a deleted scene happened where he just cursed out everyone with Grimborn blood, maybe they intuitively knew something was off with him. If neither of those happened, I think the Grimmies just decide to pick on the new guy and see how long it would take for him to turn on them.

[butch-bakugo]

Still dont get how it took my mom 19 years to figure out i had autism( or ocd)when as a child, i enjoyed;

Going through the pantry and throwing away expired food like it was a game.

Going through my moms coupon scrapbook and throwing out the expired ones like it was a game

I lined up my hot wheels cars in a row or would sorted them by type/color/texture/size/etc instead of just run them along the hard wood floors cause car go vroom

Refused food of certain textures/didnt like fruit

Actively did not speak unless it was to myself or they needed me to

Talked to myself constantly

Perfered being alone and only having contact when i wanted it

Only seeking out physcial comfort when im sick

Didnt like making eye contact and would actively avoid it

Did not pick up on social cues

Didnt like being hugged or kissed or touched in general

Would actively stim

Couldnt explain why my mom picking up a toy for me would frustrate me

Always have to do things in a specific order or else its wrong

Adored certain tedious tasks but refused to sit and do math

Liked peeling potatos/carrots and other cleaning activities but had a messy room

All my old preschool and kindergarden grades on "socializing with other kids" were mere points above being concerning cause i was always by myself

Picked my eyebrows till they didnt exist and still have a slight bald patch on my head

Loved listening to songs over and over and over even when it would annoy the average person

Liked my jeans with holes in the kness because i could pick at the strings

Perfered to have earbuds in around crowds

Disassociated all the time

Would sing jingles all the time aka vocal stimming

Desperately wanted to tell her everything about the game or show i was into aka hyperfixating and infodumping

Would be into meteorology then not then into marine biology then not

How i could spend hours on minecraft building things and never get bored

Why i would draw obsessively

Why i still sleep with a comfort blanket/stuffed animal well into adulthood and still do

How i had limited energy/limited focus(then got laughed at by my stepdad cause "limited focus isnt a thing" just for her to chew him out about my adhd)

Liked asmr and still do

Why i talk about human psychology as if i wasnt human( i.e me saying "i dont get why humans do this")

My sudden and intense interest in true crime and criminal(and general) psychology

Had quiet/private meltdowns instead of the sterotypical loud and violent ones because of my dad's abuse and intimidation

Lacked empathy and could only manage some base level sympathy

Couldnt read other peoples emotions and mom quite litterally said she dosent know how to speak to me sometimes cause my face looks like a "brick wall when im being happy and when im sad".

Didnt get that saying "the table is dirty" is supposed to mean "could you please clean the table" instead lf just an observation

Me saying sorry all the time wasnt just a trauma responce

Constantly stateing my feelings and clarifying what im trying to get across cause im scared someone might take it a bad way

Not getting sarcasm or jokes unless they are almost comedically obvious

Perfered to deal with negative emotions alone/sent people away when i was grieving/mourning/pissed off

Wanted to do a soft bite as a form of affection(would do it as a kid and still do it to my gf)

Perfered handsewing over the sewing machine

Did "weird" responces to things( hissed at doors and found it funny, stimmed when i got super excited, crane-legged when i got bored, bit my lip when i got bored)

Picked at my scalp

Would only let myself step in squares once or twice and never on the crack or more than the allotted number

Would watch ceiling fans

Watched my feet as i walked with some knowledge of what was infront of me

Was more fascinated by the dead body at funerals of people i didnt really know than comforting the mourners

Make jokes to avoid silence

Always asked if people were angry at me and told people to just tell me how they feel instead of trying to make me figure it out

Never got the whole "i cant ask them out they have to ask me out" thing

Didnt get why certain clothes couldnt be worn to certain places( i.e casual house clothes to church, stained clothing to the store)

The whole "dont invite yourself to spend the night at other people's houses". Bruh i would litterally ask if i could because i wanted to spend more time together then tell them to lie to my mom and say they asked me.

Could handle crawling bugs but not flying ones

Didnt get why i couldn't bring a real knife as a prop for trick or treating. I had no bad intentions but i didnt get why that would scare other people or get legal trouble

Handle stressful situations either with full logic with sympathy or full emotion with low stakes,very little inbetween.

Constantly have to tell people that im not angry and i am interested because i have annoyed and disinterested resting bitch face

Would use my own stories to relate to others instead of just agreeing or sympathizing then never speaking to them again because they said i was making it all about me

Being very open and very honest and not realize when something isnt appropriate to say

Not understanding the difference between someone venting and someone asking for advice

Get irritated at people who stayed in shitty situations without fixing them then vent at me. Go fix ur shit.

Not remembering my friend of 10 years' birthday but could tell you their top 5 games and anime

Not understanding why my classmates started getting bigoted when we learned in elementary school to treat others the way you'd want to be treated

Not getting that correcting someone could hurt their feelings

Not giving a shit about someone's pride. When ur wrong ur wrong and im going to tell you and prove to you that ur wrong. Nothing wrong with being wrong.

Being naive about drugs and alcohol and not being able to tell who is on what when they are clearly on something.

Not being book or street smart, just art smart.

Didnt get why certain objects were girls or boys to the point that i had a genderfluid favorite stuffed animal at like 3yrs old.(litterally one day its a boy and the next a girl)

Didnt see the harm in love triangles/polyamory and straight up said "why dont edward and jacob both just date her? Why dose she have to choose?"

Willing to cut people off at the drop of a hat. Didnt care about pre-existing relationships

Have a high internal moral code i refuse to break

Like the funny part of it all is in 2020, i mentioned to my mom that i might have autism because alot of what was considered signs and behavior of autisitc people fit me. She was all opposed and confused and didnt like my assumptions without a doctor present. Flash forward like 2 months and i asked my therapist if he thought i might be autistic and he said "no doubt. Im surprised you didnt come to me with a diagnosis. I have many autistic patients and you'd fit in pretty well". Now 2 years later and i mention it and my mom's all casual like "oh absolutely your autistic. Your sister isnt,its just adhd but you got somethin else going on." Like thanks mom, could of used the support earilier when you were making me feel like i was too sensitive or crazy 😭😭😭

[thegizka]

The Masks We Wear

ShikaTema Week 2020 - Day 2 - Masquerade

Anbu AU where Naruto becomes Hokage shortly after Gaara becomes Kazekage.

Genre:  (Implied) Enemies to Lovers

Word Count:  1699

Read it on Ao3.

Temari was a bit surprised to see him there.  It wasn’t because their first encounter had been a fight nearly to the death before he called it quits and escaped.  It was because she could see him.  The rest of the Hokage’s anbu guard were meticulously hidden and staying that way, but he was lounging in a tree as though wasting a lazy summer afternoon.

She knew he was skilled enough to hide undetected, so why wasn’t he?  Perhaps he was just THAT confident in his abilities.  She could begrudgingly admit that he was capable; he had nearly defeated her in their first encounter.  But he was above all a strategist, and there was no advantage to being out in the open.  If anything, it jeopardized his kage’s secret meeting by calling attention to this outpost.  Was he baiting a trap then?  For whom?

The questions baffled her, but she had the self-control not to break her position.  He remained nonchalant and out in the open during the entire duration of their kages’ meeting.  She’d be lying if she said it didn’t bother her.  There had to be a reason for it.  Perhaps Gaara would have some insight.

“The Hokage seems genuine in his desire to collaborate,” Gaara mused as the siblings convened to discuss the secret negotiations.

“Is he trustworthy though?” Kankuro asked.  “He’s been Hokage for what, two months?  That’s barely enough time to secure the trust of your own village.  Why is he extending offers of peace to us?”

“He is an earnest character.  I do not think he is setting us up for a trap.”

Temari studied Gaara’s face as he spoke, looking for the nearly imperceptible tells in his stoic features.  Something had happened between him and the Hokage when they fought two years ago.  She didn’t know what exactly it was, but he had earned her brother’s respect and trust, which was quite a feat when he almost never trusted anyone.  It made her nervous.

“Temari, did you notice anything outside?” Kankuro asked.

“Things were quiet,” she noted, “though one of his anbu, the Deer, was a bit strange.”

“How so?”

“He didn’t attempt to conceal himself at all.  He just sat out in the open the whole time.”

“That is suspicious,” Kankuro decided, echoing her earlier judgment.  “They’re definitely up to something.”

“Was he armed?” Gaara asked.

“He’s anbu,” she said.  “Of course he was armed.”

“But was he actively displaying or holding his weapons?”

“No.  He was just sitting there.”

“It could have been a gesture of good faith,” Gaara mused.

“You can’t be serious.”  Kankuro’s eyes narrowed.  Temari agreed with him.  It was too unusual for enemy villages to show such trust at the beginning of alliance negotiations.

“I wouldn’t discount it.  As I said, the Hokage is earnest.”  Gaara closed his eyes in thought for a moment.  “Temari, I’d like you to mimic the Deer next time.  Be visible.  Appear unarmed.  Try to figure out what they’re intending with this unusual behavior, but don’t provoke them.  If it is a gesture of peace, we want to reciprocate.”

“You’re asking your sister to expose herself to what could very well be an ambush by enemy anbu,” Kankuro reiterated, not looking happy.

“Yes, but I know she can handle it.  And in case things do turn against us, I want you there to back us up.  Baki can watch the village in our absence.”

“He won’t like this plan,” Temari warned.

“He never likes our plans,” Kankuro grumbled.

“But he never says no to us, either,” Gaara concluded with something like an amused grin.

-----

A month later, Temari was back behind her mask accompanying her brothers and a handful of their anbu to another meeting.  They arrived before the Konoha delegation, which allowed them the advantage of choosing their positions around the little outpost which served to shelter the kage while they negotiated.  Kankuro checked that the building itself was secure before taking up his position in the shadows.

“Be careful,” he whispered from behind his mask before disappearing somewhere along the perimeter.  It felt wrong not to follow him into obscurity, to remain standing and visible beside Gaara where all advantage of surprise was lost.  But this was her mission, and she was anbu.  She was focused and ready to do her duty.

The Hokage arrived a few minutes after they had settled into their positions.  He paused at the other end of the clearing, and she had a chance to look at him straight on.  He was the same age as Gaara, remarkably young for a kage.  He also seemed unguarded and relaxed.  Perhaps that was the earnestness that Gaara kept mentioning, or maybe it was naivete.  She wondered if it was genuine or a practiced presentation.

Gaara stepped forward to greet him.  The Hokage said something to the Deer who was hovering at his shoulder before advancing to reciprocate the greeting.  The two leaders headed into the shelter to negotiate in private.  Temari wasn’t pleased with her brother going one-on-one with another kage, but both parties had deemed the current level of privacy necessary to these early stages of their alliance, so she remained where she was.

The Deer crossed his arms and leaned against a tree on the other side of the small clearing.  He looked relaxed, but she could feel him studying her.  She crossed her arms as well but chose not to lean against anything.  Her reaction time would be marginally faster if she remained balanced on the balls of her feet.

“It’s been a while,” he said after a long silence.  She didn’t say anything in return, allowing him to lead the direction of the conversation.

“We battled, what, three years ago?  A lot has happened since then,” he continued.

She watched his body language for hints of his intentions, but he appeared fully relaxed.  She expected no less from a rival anbu.  Temari thought of Gaara’s encouragement to use this as a chance to find out the Konoha delegation’s intentions.

“Are you still a crybaby?” she asked.  His head tilted slightly.  She had surprised him by replying.

“How do you mean?”

“Last time we fought, you turned tail and ran like a crybaby.”

“That’s not exactly how I’d describe it.”

“But you did run.”

“There are many reasons why running could be advantageous.”

“That doesn’t make you look less like a crybaby.”

“Do you usually insult new allies?”

“We’re not actually allies.”

“Aren’t we?”  He tilted his head curiously.  “We’re here for the same purpose.”

“A deer and a wolf may both go to a river to drink, but only a fool would consider them allies.”

“Are you a wolf?”  He pushed himself upright.  She could feel the weight of his scrutiny.

“Perhaps you’re the wolf disguised as a deer.”

“That level of deception is too troublesome.  I prefer to be straightforward.”

She didn’t fully believe him.  He was anbu, after all.  Half of their missions depended on deception.  But he hadn’t told her anything significantly unreliable, and his current behavior matched what she remembered from their previous encounters.  She didn’t believe that he was without a secondary motive, but he hadn’t given her reason to think it was antagonistic.  Perhaps he was being earnest enough to warrant some trust.

“If you prefer straightforwardness, why are you anbu?” she asked.  He shrugged.

“It’s the best way to protect the future I want to make happen.”

“Is it the future the Hokage is working toward?”

“He is a critical part in it.”

Temari thought that was an odd way of saying yes.  His voice indicated amusement, but his words gave the Hokage a passive role as though he were simply a part in the Deer’s plan.  Was he trying to manipulate his kage and take power, or were they simply working toward the same goal?

“Why are you anbu?” he asked, interrupting her contemplations.  Normally she would deflect, but his honest answer had earned reciprocation.  She would just have to choose her words carefully.

“I believe in the Kazekage and what he’s working towards.  Being anbu allows me to best serve him.”

“So we have the same goal,” he concluded.  “We should be allies.”

“Assuming our kages are in agreement.”

“That’s what these meetings are for, right?”

“I suppose they are.”

-----

When she met with her brothers to debrief after the negotiations, she gave them her honest judgment.

“I think they’re genuine.  I’m not ready to set aside all of my suspicions, but if this Hokage is as earnest as you say, he’s won over his anbu already.  The Deer, at least, seems committed to an alliance with us.  There was no aggression to our interactions.”

“Kankuro, what did you think?”

“There was no move to provoke us.  Their anbu were respectful of our positions around the perimeter and didn’t cause suspicion.  I wouldn’t invite them over yet, but I could see us getting along well enough to work with them.”

“Good.”  Gaara’s mouth turned upwards in a light smile.  Temari was still getting used to these smaller expressions of his.  “I would like to move forward with the next step in our alliance.  Temari, since you’ve started building a rapport with them, I’d like you to be the main messenger and representation for us.”

“I’d hardly call a fight and a conversation with one of their anbu much of a rapport,” she said.

“It’s all we have to work with right now.”

“I’ll do it, of course.  But I’m sure Baki won’t be pleased about this.”

“I’m not too happy with it either,” Kankuro grumbled.  “Kidnapping the Kazekage’s sister could provide a lot of leverage to our enemies.”

“You’re just upset that I get to leave the village and you’re stuck here helping Gaara with administrative work,” she teased.

“Whatever.”

The following night, Temari donned her anbu mask and took off in the direction of Konoha carrying a sealed letter formally requesting an alliance with the Land of Fire.  She felt the weight of Gaara’s hopes in it.  Those were her hopes too.  She thought of the Deer and wondered whether his hopes aligned with theirs.  She was looking forward to finding out.

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter 34: Atelier

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Thirty-Four: Atelier

Notes: Ah, it is so good to be back writing this fic! I have some important info at the end of this chapter, so please check it out! I hope I haven’t lost any of you due to the pc issues I’ve been having! So sorry that I had to delay some chapters! GAH!

(-~-)

Heels clicked loudly, echoing through the sprawling open halls of the manor as Willow vacated the lounge and headed back towards the main hall, the rest of the group in tow behind her. She made her way over to the large staircase that filled the center of the room, a destination already in mind. She glanced back over her shoulder for a moment before stopping, her attention seemingly drawn to something that she hadn’t noticed before. She started up the stairs again for a moment, placing one foot on the first step, before stopping yet again. It seemed that whatever had been on her mind had been sufficient to stop her in her tracks for the time being.

“... Sirrus. I genuinely hadn’t noticed your presence until just now. Somehow I managed to look right past you. I’m sure that’s not something you experience very often.”

The Adjudicator stopped for a moment, pondering what to say next. There seemed to be something more that she wasn’t saying, and everyone in the room had picked up on that. A blanket of discomfort fell over the group as several sets of eyes glanced between the lady of the house and Sirrus, settling on the man with the red hair after a moment due to the unmistakable amount of discomfort that he radiated. It was abnormal for him. He was normally so relaxed and put together.

“Did you happen to be in town when that attack occurred about two months back? The one where the city east of here nearly burned to the ground? Or when that store was leveled by dark magic just a week or so ago?” Willow said, still not turning to face him. There was a knowing tinge to her voice that required little explanation. “I’ve not seen you in these parts for at least a decade. Curious that you should return so suddenly and during such an inopportune time.”

A subtle but unmistakably displeased expression slowly made its way onto Sirrus’s face as he seemed to register the implications of what she was trying to say to him. He folded his arms across his chest, tilting his head slightly to the side as he seemed to stare through her as opposed to actually looking at her. Magnolia seemed to go on high alert, her eyes widening slightly and her face turning noticeably red. She was clearly uncomfortable, but neither Nero nor V really knew what had caused this situation to escalate in the way that it just had, or what it might have to do with her. They were seemingly the only two who noticed her sudden shift in mood. What was going on here?

Vergil looked over at her a moment later, quietly taking note of how displeased and anxious she looked. There was clearly history between the three of them, and he didn’t care to get involved with it, but he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t somewhat curious. That being said, he had no tolerance for wasting time, especially given the circumstances. Sitting through a more than likely chaotic fight between the two of them wasn’t in the cards right now, as far as he was concerned. He would probably intervene if the situation called for it, if only to keep from having to actually sit through it or see them destroy the entire house. He had no desire to be rained on.

“If you're going to insinuate something, Willow, I’d appreciate it if you were less passive-aggressive about it and you actually said it to my face,” Sirrus said flatly, clearly unamused in regards to what she was trying to imply. He hadn’t come here to be insulted, and he had no plans to be. There was no reason that he should just stand here and allow her to accuse him of anything. He’d done nothing to earn that kind of response from her.

“Sirrus has done nothing wrong, and you know it. He’s not the only one in these parts with such power. Do not be so quick to jump to unjust conclusions based solely on what he is and not who you very much know he is. You and I both know he isn’t involved in those attacks.” Magnolia said, stepping forward and standing between her sister and her nephew. She was clearly just as unamused as her red-haired relative was, and she didn’t like where this was going.

“Rather ironically, I was actually present for the second attack. He and I were nearly killed. That’s why we're here today.” Sirrus said as he gestured towards V calmly, still very irritated, but more composed than he had been a moment ago. He couldn’t give her what she probably wanted that easily. He didn’t want to, nor did he need to, explain himself to her, but for the sake of keeping things cordial between them, he would do so. “As for the second attack, I wasn’t in the region yet. I arrived about an hour later. After the second attack, the decision was made for me to come and sort things out.”

Willow turned and looked at Sirrus, a cold, almost fearful look on her face. She seemed unsettled by the revelation that he was here on business. A moment of silence fell over the room as they locked eyes, intense but otherwise lacking hostility. Finally, she turned and looked up the stairs before speaking again. “Adjudication, then? That’s what brought you to town after all this time? And then you simply stumbled your way into… whatever this is? Once again you find yourself a victim of happenstance, caught up in the middle of something larger than yourself.”

Sirrus nodded in agreement despite the fact that he knew she couldn’t see him. He was fine with going with that assessment of the situation. It wasn’t inaccurate, and it kept him from having to say or do anything further. “For the most part, yes. That is correct.”

Nodding in acceptance, Willow quieted down before continuing up the stairs, saying nothing as she went. Hydrangea sighed quietly and shook her head, looking at the rest of the group. She then looked at her aunt and cousin before looking over at her mother again. She had continued down the hallway and into a room they couldn’t see, but they got the impression that they were probably still supposed to be following her in spite of it all. Hydrangea walked over to Sirrus and gave him a sympathetic look, allowing her regret in regards to the current situation to be seen easily on her face.

“Please forgive my mother’s less than hospitable personality. I believe she is intimidated by the presence of so many powerful beings in her home.” She said softly, clearly thoroughly embarrassed in regards to her mother’s behavior. Hydrangea knew full well that Sirrus wasn’t a threat to any of them. She had spent plenty of time around her older cousin during her lifetime. It was just her mother who didn’t. The young teen got the impression that her mother would do a massive double take if she realized how many times her daughter hadn’t been forthcoming about going somewhere or simply spending time with him. She enjoyed their conversations, and she didn’t want her mother to ruin that for her.

“Don’t apologize on her behalf. Please. It’s your home, too. Your mother is an adult. She has a responsibility to carry herself with the behavior expected of one. That is not your burden to bear. Trust me, I have experience with this.” He said, matching her tone as he took a mental note of the fact that Willow was ushering them up the stairs now, seemingly tired of waiting for them. Magnolia nodded in agreement in regards to Sirrus’s statement before heading up the steps. It seemed that she wanted to put space between her sister and everyone else present.

He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded once, slowly. After he had composed himself, he cleared his throat and patted Hydrangea gently on the shoulder. There was no need for him to make her worry. There was no way that he would dare to do anything to her mother, especially with her standing right here. He didn’t get along with Willow very well at times, but it wasn’t a killing offence, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to do that to his little cousin. Her wellbeing was important to him.

Sirrus had grown tired of the atmosphere in the room. He decided to change the subject.

“Where are we headed, then?” He said, starting up the steps as the group migrated towards whatever place they were being brought to. Willow had failed to actually explain what she had planned to do after Vergil had informed her that they were there because they needed assistance with something demonic in nature. There had been no time to truly explain the depths of the issue they had been presented with.

Glancing over her shoulder at him, Willow gave him a look that seemed to indicate that she didn’t understand why he had asked her that. “Why, to the Atelier, of course. Ours is a bit unconventional, but it’s still not nearly as opulent as the one at your mother’s estate. Something we have to fix in the near future.

“You’ve been there recently, then?” Sirrus asked, seemingly surprised by the fact that she had brought it up. It was rare that people visited his old home. His mother was not very accommodating to outsiders of any sort, so the idea that she had allowed anyone to come and visit her home was news to him. It didn’t affect him in any way, but it was indeed a fascinating turn of events.

“I just returned from there, actually. Aluta was requested specifically, but she’s been indisposed recently. And I don’t think she’d go even if she wasn’t. To my understanding, your mother makes her extraordinarily uncomfortable, and that place she calls home has much the same effect on her. She thinks it’s thoroughly cursed.” Willow rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, funneling them towards the door at the end of the hall that she had disappeared near just a short while ago.

Magnolia shook her head in distaste as they fell behind her sister and Sirrus slightly, allowing them to make idle chit-chat in the hopes that things would stay calm for now. The eyes of everyone besides Sirrus and her sister fell upon her for a moment as though to ask her what in the world had just happened. She sighed softly as she continued forward. “It would appear that there is still a bit of bad blood between our two families. None of that has to do with Sirrus, however. My sister needs to remember that. Sirrus is simply a child unlucky enough to be caught up in a double divorce.”

Nero piped up that time. “You mentioned something about that before. Or was that Sirrus? Anyway… What happened again? The details are kinda fuzzy. I was only half-listening at the time. Sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize, young one. Although it is a rather unpleasant story…”

Sirrus stopped as Willow unlocked the door again and entered, leaving it open behind her. He seemed to consider something as they entered the room, clearly displeased but otherwise fine. He had obviously overheard their conversation, though he didn’t seem to mind the fact that they had been having it in the first place. They weren’t exactly talking about him behind his back. 

“After my mother and father split up, he married Aluta. And then they divorced a short while later. Things have been… tumultuous since then. Despite the fact that my allegiances lie with house Ludwig in regards to what transpired, I don’t think that everyone here wishes me well.” He shifted slightly as he said this, clearly recalling something that he would have preferred to forget before continuing onward. “The very nature of who and what I am gives her reason enough to be wary of me. I can only imagine that you all have experienced something similar. Perhaps it is difficult for her to believe a son would go against his father’s wishes, but he was never much of a father to me. But then again, neither was my mother…”

Discomfort became evident in his demeanor for a moment before he simply stopped talking and made his way into the room, clearly unwilling to say anything more. Dante and Vergil exchanged a curious look for a moment, the eldest of the two then giving his two sons a lingering look that was hard to decipher. He said nothing, but something about what Sirrus had said had clearly piqued his curiosity. There was clearly more going on with him than what was immediately apparent, and he couldn’t help but wonder if that would become a problem going forward. While Sirrus seemed to have everything under control, the fact that this could introduce unknown variables into the equation was enough for Vergil to be somewhat uncomfortable with it.

Entering the room, V was immediately taken back by the sheer number of books on display. A two-story room with a balcony on either side greeted them from where they stood, tempting them with access to books that they otherwise wouldn’t have. A large window spanning both stories of the room and the vault in the ceiling above them would probably have let in ample light if not for the fact that the storm still raged just beyond the glass. It was the kind of space that V could get lost in and never leave, forever indulging in the vast variety of literary works that stretched out in front of him like an endless sea.

“I trust you remember this place, Vergil? There have been a few additions since your last visit, but even so, I can’t say that much has changed.” Willow said as she took a seat in the middle of the room, pulling her dress around in front of her. She seemed lost in thought for a moment, her gaze drifting lazily over towards the window. For a moment she looked over at Sirrus before turning back towards the window, a more sympathetic look on her face. It seemed that she didn’t know what to say to him. Or more likely that she knew what she needed to say to him, but just hadn’t yet. She had miscalculated, and she seemed to understand that.

Looking around the room, Vergil seemed to take in the space spread out in front of him. Yes, Willow was correct in that regard. Things had changed substantially since his last visit. This library hadn’t possessed that much of a second-story back then. Just a sitting area where at least 10 new bookcases now stood, filled to the brim with vintage books, journals, and artifacts. There was even a section for scrolls now. A work area took up the middle of the floor on the lower level where they currently were, a painting easel and several pieces of half-finished art and a stack of blank canvas sitting next to it. It seemed that someone had started painting something, but stopped abruptly, leaving their work just unfinished enough to be difficult to discern.

“Yes… that is clear to me now. You seem to have added a few new shelves during my time away.”

“Personally, I know very little about the Devil Prince Belial, but you may be able to find something of use in this room. There are texts detailing things from the underworld that pertain to those sorts of matters on the second floor next to the painting of the fountain. The Demonology section is a bit lacking, unfortunately.” Willow continued, standing up and heading towards the door. It seemed that she had somewhere else to be, and had simply intended to set them on the right path. “Otherwise, you're going to have to wait until Aluta returns. I would be willing to believe that she knows more about the subject than I do. Keeping tabs on his actions hasn’t been of much concern to me until recently. He was largely dormant for countless years. I believe that something disturbed him.”

Nero couldn’t help but think about the library in Fortuna as he took a seat at the table that sat in the center of the vast home study. There were so many priceless books that probably had tons of important information in them and they had just been abandoned and left to the elements… Maybe he should see if there was something he could do about that. He got the feeling that the Ludwig family (or V, for that matter) would take much better care of the books than they were currently experiencing. This place was immaculate. A great deal of time and effort had clearly been put into making sure that everything in this room had been treated with care. Maybe he’d mention something about it if he got the change. “You said he’s be “dormant” for a long time, hu? How long do you think? What, was he just gone the rest of the time?”

Magnolia sat down next to Nero, shrugging nebulously. “For the most part, yes. Belial just sort of didn’t do anything noticeable for the better part of about a century. Probably a little bit longer. I have no doubt that he was up to something, but demons that are this primordial tend to take breaks for hundreds of years at a time before becoming active again. Mundus did much the same after he lost to your Grandfather. Resurrections take time, and he bided his time for well over a thousand years until he felt that he was ready.” She looked over at V, taking note of the fact that he was listening intently to what she was saying. “He’s become increasingly active in the last few years. We were under the impression that he was after something, but now we know what that something is. And we can’t let him succeed. Not for our sakes, and especially not for V’s.”

Willow stopped dead in her tracks, turning around and allowing her eyes to follow her sister’s gaze. She stood quiet for a moment before speaking, seemingly taking in the fact that it was V who her sister had insinuated was the object of the Prince of Darkness’s fascination. To think that Belial wanted this child… it made her blood run cold. “Before you leave here… come see me. There may be something I can do. Trust me, it shall be worth your time. And if Belial is indeed after you, it may very well save your life. Nothing good has ever come from being the object of a devil princes’ obsession. The least I can do is slow him down.”

(-~-)

For next week I can unfortunately only do a chapter for Friday because I’m still recovering from the issues my pc had and just now catching up, but from there forward, I’m happy to announce that I’m back! I’m also working on something cool for you all, so I hope you like it! I’d love to see you all in the comments! Take care! I hope you're having a wonderful week, and I’m so sorry for all the delays I’ve had for the last couple of weeks! I seriously love writing this story, and I’m not going anywhere, but my pc just loves to hate me sometimes lol!

[marlmckitten]

(She Had) Just Enough Time ~ Chapter Four: Fruitless Quarrels

A/N: Just as the name implies, this is more or less pointless and just carrying them though until I have more plot to write about when they are fifteen. ;) Essentially, I’m sorry but I wanted to post something because I’m loosing momentum pretty fast. But coming up next chapter: Marlene joins the Quidditch Team and surprisingly bonds with one James Potter.

In their forth year things got tougher. Their classes seemed harder and their homework loads were heavier. And the impeding dread of knowing that it was only going to get worst when their fifth year rolled around and OWLs popped up seemed to keep morale low. Marlene had fallen behind in a few classes and was annoyed when still Sirius flew by without even trying. He was frequently showing up to class late or sometimes not at all. She didn’t understand and refused to attribute it to anything to do with his blood status. But he had long forgotten about that. When they bickered it was about their hair, or looks, or wardrobe, never about blood status or family nobility. Marlene noticed the shift easily but she never mentioned it. It did make him a little more tolerable though. Because he was still an ass, but his arrogance was wavering. She had overheard him on occasion asking his friends about various traditions and facts his family had misinformed him of, and wondering just how offence some of them were. Those moments almost made Marlene smile, but he quickly became just as intolerable when girls from every house started to swooning around him. Sure, he had been growing up fairly attractively. And as time progressed he became more of a ‘bad boy’ with his muggle leather jacket, his parties, his cigarettes and everything else that came with it. But still, he wasn’t impressive enough for girls to be drooling over him in Marlene’s opinion. So the blonde would still verbally attack him in the halls whenever he did something stupid, almost as frequently as he would pester her whenever an opportunity arrised. One day in Herbology they were forced into partners, which resulted in both parties ending up in the hospital wing.

“I didn’t say you should STICK YOUR FINGER IN ITS TEETH!” Marlene yelled on their way to Madam Pomphrey.

“You told me that I wouldn’t do it, and I proved you wrong.”

“Yeah, then it got angry, nearly bit off your finger and proceeded to throw some venemous seeds into my face, you complete prat.”

“Your’e the one who thought it would be a funny prank.”

“I WAS BEING SARCASTIC YOU DUMB TWAT!”

The argument went on until they got to the matron, who promptly separated the two on opposite sides of the hospital wings and curtains were drawn up around their beds.

Lily came in to visit and scowled over at Sirius all the while, until James walked in to see Sirius and stopped along the way to pay attention to the red head, “What are you doing here Evans, not thinking of cheating on me with my best mate are you?”

Lily rolled her eyes, “It’s kind of hard to cheat on someone you’re not actually dating Potter, get out of my face.”

“Suppose you’re right, so does that mean we have a date so you can officially cheat on me?” He attempted.

“I’d rather not, you should go tend to your boyfriend before Madam Pomphrey has a third student to take care of,” she threatened, and James gave up, scampering away to Sirius.

From across the room, Marlene could hear Black telling Potter that he was being an idiot and to stop constantly hitting on a girl so far out of his league. James insisted that his persistence would eventually pay off, but then Marlene turned her attention to Lily who was clearly trying to pretend she couldn’t hear the whole exchange.

“I bet you’re disappointed it wasn’t Potter who was stuck in here instead?” She smirked to her best friend.

Lily snorted, “I am always wishing for that.”

Mary entered shortly after and sat with Marlene and Lily. “Too bad there’s not a different wing for them to be in,” she chirped in, never having much of a problem with the boys herself, but knowing that it was most likely what the other two were talking about.

“More special privileges for Potter and his gang? I don’t think that’s necessary,” Lily almost spat in reply, which shut up both girls from the topic of Potter in general and awkwardly brought up the Herbology lesson again. They compared notes and discussed whether or not it would show up on their exams until it was time for them to leave the Wing.

Lily left first, leaving just Mary and Marlene. They looked over absent-mindedly at James who starred as Lily left the room. “How does he think he has a chance with her?” Mary asked in disbelief.

“I can hear you, you know!” Potter yelled back.

But Mary just remained looking at him, “Okay, then answer my question.”

But he didn’t have an answer so both girls laughed before Marlene replied, “I think you’d have a better chance with literally anyone else in the school, Potter!”

“Fine, either of you two ladies free later?” He inquired cheekily.

Neither girls needed to reply though, they knew he wasn’t serious and they would never humour it anyway. First of all, they would never do such a thing to Lily and inflict his presence on her any more than it already had to be. And secondly, they were not actually interested in dating the boy at all. Talking quieter so they wouldn’t eavesdrop ay longer, Marlene asked, “Do you think that if you went out with him, Black would just tag along too?”

“Oh Merlin, probably, and I don’t know which would be worse!”

Marlene wrinkled her nose, “I’d rather not think about either.”

The two girls stayed up gossiping for some time, until Madam Pomphrey ushered everyone away, including Sirius who would apparently be fine and it was only Marlene who needed overnight attention. She cursed Black as he left, a smug smile on his face.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~*

The night Marlene had to spend in the infirmary only intensified their name calling. If they so much as passed one another in the hallway, Marlene would mutter the first insult that came to her head and he always returned it. A few times, she would raise her wand if she was in a bad enough mood, but always resisted actually hexing him.

“Shut it, you narcissistic cow,” Marlene snapped towards Black one afternoon when they were waiting for their class to start and Sirius was talking too loudly to his friends about the girl who had her lips around his ‘little Sirius’ the previous night.

“You’ve got to work on your insults, Kinnon!”

“I have to do no such thing,” she replied, leaning against a wall. They were all waiting for The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to show up, but he had been late for every class all year and rumours were that he would be sacked by the time the year ended.

“You still call me ‘Poodle Head’.”

“Because you have a stupid Poodle Head, you plonker.”

“A little better, but try some creativity.”

“I don’t need any, you insensitive tit-fuck.”

“Did you just make that up?” Dorcas asked her, interrupting their pointless argument.

“Whether she did or not, that is detention for you, Miss McKinnon,” their Professor finally showed up and Marlene groaned loudly, using another few choice curse words which also lost her some points from Gryffindor.

Sirius had managed to stay out of detention for the rest of the day and was on his best behaviour. Marlene wondered why until the evening came and he hung out over her, watching her clean some of the trophies by hand, clearly having kept his night clear for this reason alone. “Get out of here dickface,” she groaned but Sirius only tutted her.

“Words like that may loose us more points, don’t you think McKitten. Now behave like a good little kitty and-“

His words, combined with the angle of his stance and Marlene being on her hands and knees got them both into further detention. However once Marlene explained what happened, Professor McGonagall, reversed it and made Sirius finish her duties while letting her go early. Marlene was sure it was the best memory she had made at Hogwarts so far. She skipped away, briefly looking back at Sirius who’s eyes were starring daggers at her, probably already trying to plot his revenge.

* ~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *

It was half way through their forth year, and Sirius suddenly had a reputation with the ladies. He had slept with enough of them now everyone was dying for their fifteen seconds of fame with Sirius Black. Marlene was disgusted by the whole thing. Not that her own reputation was much better at this point. Everyone started calling her easy because she went from boyfriend to boyfriend, each one lasting somewhere around two months. But she shrugged off the comments and rumours easily. Other people making assumptions about her sex life didn’t bother her, but the double standard was not missed on her or on Lily. While Sirius was being praised and everyone was falling in love with them, Marlene was being called all sorts of things for the same sort of habits. And yet again it only added to the dynamic of how much the two disliked each other.

“Careful Black, that one is falling for you. Maybe spend at least two nights with her.” Marlene said dryly when she watched a girl practically drooling over him

“I’d rather a good two nights than a mediocre two months,” He replied with a passive aggressive wink, causing some of the people around them dropping their own conversations to listen to see if it would be Marlene and Sirius’ next big fight.

“I wouldn’t talk about things you don’t actually know, Black. A bunch of older girls each only lasting one night could just as easily mean that you don’t know what you’re doing down there.”

“If  that were the case, then I don’t think any other girls would want my attention.” He reported simply.

Marlene rolled her eyes, arms crossing against her chest, “There are plenty of dumb girls at this school. Maybe they’re just after the Black fortune.”

Sirius laughed, “Well I hope not, because my mom is giving that to my brother for sure!”

And it went on. Every day. Until the end of the year. Even Lily had grown tired of it and as they went home for the summer she said what she was most looking forward to was not having to listen to Marlene complain about Sirius for two whole months.

[itsclydebitches]

Preacher Review: Damsels

AKA  “Cats screwing. At an airport. Under an ice cream truck.”

Week two, episode three and we’re stARTING OFF WITH EUGENE,

Now I’ll be frank. Despite my enthusiastic caps my feelings regarding Eugene are… ambivalent at best. Initially I got swept up into the general fandom feeling of, “What a poor baby protect him!!!” Then we (supposedly) learned about him shooting Traci and I lost 99% of that sympathy. I wrote a paper on that exact woobie fandom response that ended up killing my last 1%, and now I love Eugene like I love Snape: you’re a great character, but you’re an absolute asshole of a person.

Then this episode happened.

As far as we can tell based on Eugene’s cyclical hell (a common enough trope) he didn’t, in fact, shoot Traci himself. Rather he’s painted very much as the naive hero.  After receiving a call from Traci saying that she “needs him,” Eugene races to her house on his bike, accompanied by superhero-esque music—clearly reflecting how he views himself in this moment. He finds her sobbing because her boyfriend cheated on her with a “5”  and has decided to kill herself over it. Traci has Eugene read through her suicide note which contains such gems as starting it with both “To Whom it May Concern” and “Dear everybody,” making sure her room remains a shrine after her death (which, ironically, it does), her brothers still aren’t aloud inside, and there’s a list of all the other men she’s had sex with, just to make her boyfriend jealous. Despite all this, Eugene manages to talk her out of the act.

Until he kisses her. Poor Eugene receives a shocked “ew” in response and that act is what tips Traci over the edge. She shoots herself, only managing to survive through Eugene’s quick actions, and when her mother comes home and starts freaking out about the locked door, Eugene inside, Traci not answering… he panics and shoots himself next.

This is what a lot of fans assumed last season: that the story we heard around town wasn’t what really happened. Now this goes a long way towards ‘redeeming’ Eugene (if, of course, we take these memories at face value) considering that beyond a quick, unwanted kiss that he thought might be appreciated, he didn’t actually do anything wrong. If anything, Eugene actively worked to keep Traci alive. The superhero music fits him in this scene.

And that’s what bugs me.

See, there’s a difference between Preacher being offensive and Preacher being offensive. There’s a difference between over the top insanity/violence that doesn’t hurt anyone because it’s just insulting to everyone and changing the narrative in ways that actively push against “hot topic” social issues. To give another example, no one really cares if Jesse beats the shit out of people to an extreme degree because worrying about whether your local preacher is going to break your arm isn’t an everyday concern (to say nothing of the fact that Jesse often engages in violence for ‘good’ reasons—like protecting a child from abuse). On the other hand, it’s important that Jesse doesn’t respond to the club singer’s advances because husbands/boyfriends cheating is a huge problem in the U.S. So having Jesse looked bored as hell while she sings all sultry, turning away as she changes, and telling her to stop before she kisses him sends a particular message. He’s a bad dude without being ‘bad’ particular ways, ways that are more likely to have an impact on the average viewer. There’s a distinction.

Now how does this apply to Eugene? They changed his story from a depressed kid shooting himself to emulate a rock star to a “friendzoned” kid shooting a girl and then himself because he was rejected—and they should have stuck with that. Because that story right there is something our society is dealing with: the insane number of women who are harmed or killed because they won’t have sex with some creep. That’s the story that’s worth telling and ultimately sending Eugene to hell for. Traci represents real life victims. Or at least she did. Now she’s just a blonde stereotype who’s suicide is used as freaking man-pain for Eugene, even more than it was last season. I honestly really hate that and alongside the supposed deaths of DeBlanc and Fiore, I think it’s the most insulting thing that Preacher has done to date.

Anyway. Enough about Eugene.

The trio is on their way to New Orleans and Jesse is making them listen to “A Walk to the Peak” an untold number of times. I think that’s a great choice because to the untrained ear (aka mine) it honestly doesn’t sound… appealing. (Sorry, Jazz fans.) We of course know that Tulip’s anger comes from a fear about stepping back in her old hunting grounds, but to Jesse she’s just complaining for no real reason. Cue lots of tension.

We get a fantastic, party-hard introduction to New Orleans that emphasizes the crowds and neon lights—a sharp departure for the beige tones and deserted wide shots from season one. As the trio wanders into the first club they find and asks for god, receiving an iffy, “All three of you?” in response, I think to myself, “Oh wow. Oh no. What if this is the fucked up Dalmatian from the trailer?” 

Guess what. 

IT’S THE FUCKED UP DALMATION FROM THE TRAILER.

Called it.

Beyond just acting as another strange and shocking moment that we’ve come to expect of Preacher, this little detour also establishes how out of their depth the trio is now. No one would call them sheltered, by any means, but none of them have any idea what’s being implied until it’s staring them in the face. This is new, fucked up territory to them. As mentioned above, it’s a BIG world, and the trio have flung themselves into it full force. 

We meet Dennis, the fast talking French “friend” of Cass’ who is (unwillingly?) acting as their host. 1. Does anyone have a translation for that fantastic rant? 2. If they were at one point buds, I love that they made Dennis on the older side. It serves as a great visual reminder that Cass is over a freaking century old. Of course his friends are going to be hitting their golden years. And 3. Good on Cass for calling out Tulip for the “idiot Irish sidekick” treatment. It’s also (hopefully) the writers calling themselves out. There’s a whole lot you can do with Cass beside making him the comic relief.

Jesse continues his quest alone—“A preacher looking for God, that’s a joke!”—and kicks a whole lot of ass as he does. We get a lovely little twist where the singer he courageously saves and hustles off to the airport is in fact an agent working for—

—THE GRAIL. THE GRAIL. THE GRAIL IS HERE I’M SO HAPPY AHHHH—

Ahem.

I mean working for the super secret organization that no one knows anything about yet.

Jesse may be following a false lead now (the mysterious man who knew god had left, washing up in the swamp), but I truly doubt it will distract him for long. Between the final scene with Victor finding Tulip and Jesse spotting a poster with his family’s symbol, there are much bigger fish to fry.

And we get our first good look at Starr. Yes. We are blessed, friends. VERY blessed. 

Until next week <3

Other Minor Things Worth Noting

I do like Eugene’s Mary Poppins reference. It tells us that his belief in God has been with him for a long time. It’s not just a result of him needing something to turn to after this tragedy.

Also, did anyone else hear him say “Darn it” after Traci first shoots himself, this strange pause where he stands there looking bored instead of panicked?? I honestly didn’t quite catch that moment, but I’m wondering if it had something to do with the fact that this is not, in fact, a real memory but rather a punishment within hell. Idk.

I’m adding the strange chandelier hell thing to the list of technologies I’m discussing in some future paper. That thing was cool.

“You are now leaving Texas – Your loss dipshit”

Tulip’s description of a “sharp grabby” pain in her stomach is reminiscent of her “smoky hand brain thing” in the premier. She certainly has a way with words. What a dork.

Joe with his tattoos and facial hair + that sparkly butterfly shirt is now my definition of aesthetic.

Let’s talk about the passive aggressive lesbian lady who recognized Tulip by her “cute little backside.”

Eugene is in a cell next to Hitler. Don’t they deserve to be on different levels or something? I have issues with Eugene, but I’m just saying. And now that we see hell as this prison environment, how exactly did the people working there react to him. He just… showed up?? I really hope the show goes into all this.

“It’s the end of the world” – nice tie to “Till the end of the world.”

I like Tulip giving up $100 for $5. It shows her single minded, fuck it nature; touches on addiction, and harkens back to Traci. She the 100 who was thrown away for a 5.

The guy talking to Jesse in the club is George R.R. Martin. This is why he isn’t getting his writing done. Pass it on. Expose him. 

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

Thoughts thoughts thoughty-thoughts

Now I read [this super cool analysis] of chapter 17 by @attackontitantea​ and I think it’s awesome, but here are my thoughts and feelings upon first reading which are not meant to argue with attackontitantea but are just like...here’s just what I think at the same time as them, yeah?

Please note that any insults directed towards Yoonbum are intended to be read as perceptions and thoughts from other characters, not me personally.

[Yoonbum’s shyness and inability to fend off teasing]

So Yoonbum, mentally ill, introverted, painfully shy, very unused to people is now in some club hangout with his kidnapper and his friends. They’re talking and laughing, he obviously feels like a third wheel, he’s very conscious of every light bit of poking fun they do to him.

Jien points out how skinny and small he is.

Whether she’s trying to be malicious or not...I can’t really tell because some people just tease others as a way to be friendly, but for it to be non-threatening there has to be a level of playfulness by the teaser on top of the person being teased accepting that it’s not a personal, malicious attack. Correct me if I’m wrong, but for people like us that have trouble connecting with people or maintaining relationships--those who are very anxious about people, autistic people (like me), BPD sufferers and probably others--these are almost always seen as attacks. They’re considered personal attacks on us because we know we don’t know how to play the social game as well as they do. Jien knows this, since she comments later that she knows he’s mentally ill (how does she know? Who told her?) so then again perhaps her teasing was meant to hurt Yoonbum and she’s technically safe because Yoonbum, while inwardly hurt, does not and is incapable of making a scene because he himself does not know for sure if she’s just being a bitch or trying to be friendly. ‘Maybe this is what people who are friends do with each other’, a part of him thinks, ‘so I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it’. And even if she was being a bitch, only people who are very close to one another, I find, would call someone out on another’s teasing and tell them to knock it off. He doesn’t know these people. He also doesn’t want to make Sangwoo look bad, likely, because he may get punished. He’s following the rules, not giving him any reason to lash out at him when they get home.

Sangwoo being an ass: Not understanding/giving a fuck about Yoonbum’s social anxiety

Now we all know how much of a Grade-A psychopath Sangwoo is. He seems completely incapable of fully comprehending a person’s pain. He doesn’t feel bad when he hurts people and he likely doesn’t realize or care when he does unintentionally.

As accurately as Sangwoo has had on reading Yoonbum--sort of--he goes so far as to magnify Yoonbum’s awkwardness and aggravating his companion Donggyu at the same time by having them compare wrists.

Donggyu was whining about how he wasn’t exempt from the draft regardless of his weight and bad knee, and in the process of Sangwoo pulling Donggyu into being the butt of a joke that was originally meant for Yoonbum, he did somewhat offset the negative attention Yoonbum was getting for his size. However, Yoonbum is still uncomfortable having people laugh about and around him because the joke still relies heavily on his physique.  

Perhaps, though, this is Sangwoo’s way of rooting out hypocrisy. Some chapters ago he told Yoonbum he hated whining, snivelling, self-pitying people like Yoonbum was in his eyes, and in that moment Donggyu was setting himself up to be torn down in the same way by going on about his problems. Sangwoo doesn’t have time for sob stories, however minor they are. He doesn’t give a fuck. If anything, it’s an easy way to humiliate someone by using their revealed weaknesses against them.

In the end, Yoonbum being used as a tool by Sangwoo to humiliate Donggyu makes the guy passive aggressive as fuck towards Yoonbum for making him look bad (bitch it wasn’t his fault!)

Sangwoo being an ass - not giving a fuck/caring about Yoonbum’s social anxiety #2!

Next up, when Yoonbum asks Sangwoo to go to the bathroom, he is ignored. He turns to Donggyu who...ignores him.

(Personal note: I would have fucking pushed him out of the way, just saying)

Of course this is distressing for Yoonbum, but with him needing to go to the bathroom (an urgent matter, don’t you know), and with Korean culture being such that silent rejection is the preferred and most popular way of communicating that you don’t like or accept someone, on top of Yoonbum being in a position of unfamiliarity with these people and feeling like he’s intruding on them, on top of suffering from a mental illness that treats every perceived slight as 10000x more serious than it really is to an average person, I bet that Yoonbum was a minute away from having a meltdown. I know I would have.

Also, this attempt at trying to be assertive or act independently of Sangwoo backfired horribly. So he turns to Sangwoo once again for help...

And he promptly disregards Yoonbum’s request, which to me is just par for the course, I think? (Personal note: Man, I can’t get a good read on this motherfucker. I’m trying y’all, I’m trying. I’m already this far deep and have a lot to say so let’s just keep going. Fuck, why are you so hard to understand Sangwoo).

Really, this is Sangwoo being a dick right here. “I don’t want to go, so I don’t see why I have to care that you do.” (Personal note: Yeah, that’s good enough. Moving on!)

Having both exits blocked, one by someone whom Yoonbum prayed would honor social conventions and do the polite thing and concede, and the person he has been forced to rely on against his will for everything in the past few...days? weeks? months?...and the pressure of needing to go makes Yoonbum physically squirm.

And for Sangwoo, it’s amusing.

So many different ways to read this, so I’ll just elaborate on them. It may be a mixture, who knows:

1) Seeing Yoonbum in this state of distress caused by him personally planting seeds of reproach into r is actually entertaining, because he’s a sadistic piece of shit 2) Seeing YoonBum helpless and in need is cute, like how you automatically go “aww, let me help” when a toddler does something adorably clumsy 3) He thinks “You can’t do anything without me, can you?” and that is funny because “Yoonbum looks so pathetic, how the hell has he lasted this long in the real world?” He’s not charming, he’s not strong or versatile, he’s the most beta of beta of betas. He’s like a soft-shelled turtle, completely without defenses or means to cope with life’s most minor upsets. Granted, Yoonbum is mentally ill and held against his will, but for Sangwoo that’s just “details, details”.

So Sangwoo helps Yoonbum. I think because Sangwoo feels like, as his “owner” of this scrappy little freak, it’s his job to protect him or throw him a bone every once in awhile. Maybe because, in the very end of ends, Yoonbum has grown on him sort of. Again, his inattentiveness to the emotional needs of Yoonbum is almost completely not there, but he has an artificial semblance of an idea of what he needs, so he acts accordingly.

And Donggyu, being the fuck he is, is like “what?”. And the look Sangwoo gives him...

And Donggyu’s reaction

Yeah, he’s unnerved. He probably doesn’t even know why he feels off, but he does. Some part of him, some instinctive part of him that knows danger even when he himself isn’t unconsciously aware of it is prickling in discomfort.

Sangwoo’s cruelty

Dongyyu made up for his momentary embarrassment and having to concede to Sangwoo by acting like a little bitch when Yoonbum was trying to get through. Yoonbum falls and lands in Donggyu’s lap by accident.

Sangwoo goes to join Yoonbum in the bathroom. There he teases him about the very embarrassing situation that he was just in and does in fact tease him about his sexuality like a hypocrite.

Yoonbum panics here for several reasons which should be obvious. 

1) It was an accident, and when someone implies that something embarrassing happening to us was actually something else entirely, we either get angry or panic. Yoonbum panics.

2) Yoonbum, much like the reader, is unsure of what will set Sangwoo off. Yoonbum is a plaything for Sangwoo but still his. However much genuine possessiveness or possessiveness-on-principle Sangwoo feels for Yoonbum is hazy, but it would not be too far of a stretch for Yoonbum or Donggyu to be punished for that altercation.

3) His quiet obsessive side is perhaps rousing here just the tiniest bit, or perhaps unconsciously making Yoonbum’s protest even greater, trying to assure Sangwoo that there can not be anyone else, that he isn’t some whore who’d do it with anyone (which is what Sangwoo implied). And even IF that is not the case, he’s still not a whore that does it with anyone just because he’s shown to be totally fine with having sexual relations with Sangwoo, a man who was once the object of his affection. 

Gay, Pan, and Bi men are often accused by straight men of being deviant and sluts who’ll “do it with anyone” just because another man is in the same room as them in a way of expressing their contempt at being non-straight. With Korea being in that limbo like Japan of being technically conservative but still allowing the LGBT community to be out and exist and all of the nightclubs, fiction, and media to exist to a certain extent, at the ground-level there is still discrimination and reproach for their existence among people. It is likely that Sangwoo’s friends would think of Yoonbum as even more of a freak if they realized he was gay, or at the very least singularly in love with Sangwoo (at least in the beginning). 

The fact that Sangwoo clearly knows this and employs all that I’ve described above with his comment regarding Yoonbum being up for guy’s dick is rich considering he himself is fine with using Yoonbum’s body as a sex toy/being perfectly fine with experimenting and allowing Yoonbum to fulfill his fantasies of being sexually intimate with Sangwoo.  

Personally, I headcanon Sangwoo as bisexual, and psychopaths like him are adept at drawing attention away from their hypocritical actions and statements and instead placing it on another person’s flaws and weaknesses. Even if confronted, they will either get violently angry or wave it off because that sort of “Well what does that make you?” logic doesn’t faze them.

Now let’s switch gears to Jien, whose personality and character really flesh her out as someone completely different than the previous two chapters seemed to set her up as.... I’m just focusing on this chapter now, so I’ll make references to previous chapters but I’m not going to be using visual examples for those because shut up.

Korea’s hang-ups about education and mental illness

When Yoonbum returns from the restroom, it is without Sangwoo. Out of courtesy, as we all do, Jien did not align her laser sights on Yoonbum while Sangwoo was with them and only talked as much shit as she knew was socially acceptable (as illustrated above). When Yoonbum is seated, however, she makes her contempt towards him known straight away.

Now I am NOT as well-versed in Korean culture as I am in Japanese culture, but I am knowledgeable in is making roughly accurate comparisons and educated guesses of culture based on some good ol’ research. South Korea places a high value on education. College is very much expected of young adults and is valued for both the economic and social prestige it could bring to people and their families. As can be expected, blue-collar workers and those who opt not to go to college are scorned and sneered at. Much like the United States, in Korea there is the idea that Higher Education = Guaranteed Employment + Economic Prosperity + Social Boost, which is simply not the reality one faces when you are swamped with loads and loads of graduates entering the workforce. Regardless, that elitism is illustrated quite clearly with Jien’s friend’s very intrusive (yet admittedly expected) query regarding why Yoonbum attended college “4 years late”, as well as Jien’s reaction to this new information.

Next up, we have what Jien immediately does afterwards, which is whisper (personal note: QUITE FUCKING RUDE, THIS BITCH) in her friend’s ear. The next panel shows us that Jien was likely whispering something along the lines of “I bet he doesn’t have a girlfriend”, knowing that her friend seems to be in a chatty, gossipy mood tonight and apparently willing to embarrass Yoonbum until he’s a puddle on the floor.  

While whispering to another person about another person while the person is sitting right there is perhaps universally reviled as passive aggressive and RUDE AS FUCK, saying something pointed like “I bet you don’t have a girlfriend” is something that only the most socially inept or outwardly hostile would ask another person in this situation. By whispering it to her friend, knowing that her friend will likely translate it into a question (that is, if she had not explicitly ask the friend to perhaps subtly interrogate Yoonbum on his relationship status), she is attacking him indirectly. Jien is not asking him the question outright to Yoonbum, so she is technically not being the rude person here, and therefore can not be labelled as the mannerless bitch in this situation.

Spoiler: She is, though.

What does make me wonder, however, is that after a friend at the table makes a comment about how “innocent” Yoonbum looks in comparison to Sangwoo, Jien mutters this loud enough for everyone to hear:

I have many questions. First off: How does she know Yoonbum suffers from BPD? Is this something widely known by people her age but they just don’t talk about it because mental illness is 1) None of your business and really isn’t a topic of conversation in mixed company, 2) Stigmatized very, very, very heavily in Korean culture, much more so than America. Is it because Yoonbum is infamous for his obsessive, stalking tendencies in the past? Did Sangwoo tell them at some point? Does she seem to just know? 

Also, let me just say, fuck this bitch. You can clearly, painfully see the stigma of this culture towards mental illness with the fact that she makes this comment. Now the comment itself makes me question if she does know about Yoonbum’s previous actions and what she is saying is “His mental illness compelled him to commit crimes and stalk people, therefore he isn’t “innocent”, or she is suggesting that people who are mentally ill are somehow tainted or some such. Again, mental illness has a HUGE stigma in Korea. Teachers are not trained like in the Western world to look for symptoms of ADD, autism, depression, or whatever. Her making that quip basically solidified Yoonbum as a freak in the eyes of the group, as evident by the silence that falls immediately after.

Jien fucking steps out of line

Finally, Sangwoo returns. I can’t believe that I’m relieved that he has. Jien is this insufferable.

Sangwoo declines an invitation to continue the night out with Jien and her friends, making the excuse that he has to drive Yoonbum home. Jien immediately gets upset and practically whines the following.

Now I don’t know about y’all, but this was the breaking point for me. This was where I lost absolutely all sympathy I may have had for this “unrequited love” she may have had for Sangwoo. Do I really need to spell out why this is beyond unacceptable? Do all y’all readers (if y’all are even reading this far) have enough of a grasp on social etiquette to realize how absolutely childish she sounds in this moment? I hope so. To make it short, her complete and utter disregard for a friend of a friend who is clearly with needs (SINCE HIS LEGS ARE BROKEN) because of her obvious jealousy of Yoonbum and--can I use the word--thirst for Sangwoo is so blatant and transparent that...I’ll get to that thought in a tiny bit. Hold on.

Sangwoo of course takes it in stride and shuts her down quickly by being charming. He attacks her weak spot--her forehead. I interpret this as a secret way of getting back at her for being so rude to Yoonbum in front of him, but more of a means to defuse the situation and get her distracted and to calm her tits.

Again, Sangwoo lays on the charm.

And with him giving her that gentle expression that has definitely been practiced, she backs off. From a chapter or two ago Sangwoo referred to Jien as “annoying” when he looked and found her texting him and bothering him. Usually when we are interrupted by a text, we are not mad at the person who texted us per se because they are not the real source of our irritation at the moment. For Sangwoo, she is irritating. She causes unnecessary upsets in his life, like when she messed up the song that he worked so hard to do. If she had aced it, he wouldn’t have had a problem with her, she would have been alright, all things considered. But she messed it up for him, she has proven to be very clingy to him despite them not being officially together. To put it simply, she’s an annoyance. 

He doesn’t let on that that’s the case, though... 

When Yoonbum and Sangwoo are in the car, Yoonbum notices that Sangwoo’s expression is...unsettling

(Personal note: [Psychopathic Manchild] is a trope)

Now I don’t want to make predictions of what will happen in the next chapter because I don’t want to go back and edit this if it turns out to be wrong, so I’ll put what I think I know in regards to this: Sangwoo has shown that he finds people who show obvious romantic feelings for him while being ignorant of his true nature are entertaining. Them being so blind to what he is is a thrill in of itself. It means that his guise as a wolf in sheep’s clothing is so attractive and so convincing that people continue to be swayed by his charms, ignorant in how close to death they are. It’s a great feeling, like pulling off a magic trick. 

And the rest of the chapter detailing Sangwoo’s actions spawns only conjecture and predictions, which I will not make to avoid being proven wrong in the future, LOL

So! Those are my thoughts! Hope you enjoyed reading :D